Have you ever had it where the song you wake up to on the alarm clock is exactly the song you needed to hear for that day? That’s happened to me a few times lately and this morning it was a song that I actually was desperately searching for the artist and song title after hearing it a few weeks back. (Leeandra don’t laugh!)

My world is closing in
On the inside
But I’m not showing it
When all I am is crying out
I hold it in and fake a smile
Still I’m broken

I can be pretty good about putting on that happy face even when it feels like the world is crashing in on me. Last night I realized that maybe I’m a little too good at it. Sunday morning as I was braiding Celena’s hair she talked about actually wanting to move to Georgia with her mom and after she left the room the reality of possibly never seeing her or her brother again after next week just hit me like a ton of bricks. The tears started and I quickly brushed them away and put on a smile for Celena and to be ready to walk over to my parents for our family Sunday dinner. Why do we do that?! Shouldn’t Celena know that if I couldn’t take her rollerskating again or to the beach this summer or celebrate her birthday with her that those things would make me sad enough to cry? And how much would it have helped to just get a hug and be able to cry on my family’s shoulders about all these unanswered questions?

When no one else knows how I feel
Your love for me is proven real
When no one else cares where I’ve been
You run to me with outstretched hands
And You hold me in your arms
Again

I definitely have times where I feel like noone else cares. I’ve gotten into fights with Scott over noone else caring enough about what’s been going on in these kids lives. I often feel like even their own grandmother has put their alcoholic mom’s well-being before their own on far too many occasions. But at the same time I feel those open arms in the people who’ve been praying for these kids who’ve never even met them. Or in my incredible friend Shari who, in the middle of a chaotic move from one state to another, takes the time to ask "what’s the latest with Wendy?". Or LaurieG sending me a private message through SBB as soon as the site was back up to check in. Or a message on my phone that if I need to talk just call. All throughout the day yesterday I felt it and just didn’t really think of it at the time as being God’s way of letting me know he cares.

I have come to you in search of faith
Cause I can’t see beyond this place
Oh You are God and I am man
So I’ll leave it in Your hands

I think I’m going to print that last verse and post it on my fridge and maybe somehow on my laptop (since we all know I’d see it there often!).

Current update, in case anyone’s been wondering, Wendy came back into town for her DUI hearing yesterday morning and then apparently decided to go with her new husband to see some friends in Lansing where she says their new truck broke down so they’d be staying the night there. She hasn’t seen her kids for 23 days and she decides on the first day back to go see friends an hour and a half away. And since she’s their ‘mom’ the kids actually want to see her desperately so this is just yet another disappointment for them while they wait to find out if they’re moving to Georgia where she’s made it out to be this bed of roses or if they’re staying here with my in-laws where they’ll actually be taken care of. The custody hearing is on Monday at 2:00 and if ya think of it any prayers would be soooo appreciated.

So I missed posting a blessing for yesterday and I’d have to say that it’s friends. Friends that I’ve met through digital scrapbooking, friends who’ve known me since kindergarten and never miss a week of checking in, friends who are there when I least expect it and friends and family who have been praying for these kids just because they know I care so much about them. I’m truly blessed to be surrounded by amazing friends!

Spent pretty much the entire night planting flowers and my reward was cutting a few of my peonies to bring inside. :) I LOVE my peony bushes! And the beauty of a peony bush is that these gorgeous humongous flowers HAVE to be cut because they weigh down the branches and I LOVE any excuse to cut a perfectly beautiful flower and bring it inside. :)

The 2nd half of my night I spent submitting LOs to the Simple Scrapbooks Digi Issue 4 call. Nothing like waiting till the last minute, eh? I think I submitted 5 of my recent favorites so we’ll see if any of them get picked. It’s always so fun to see one of the neats in print! :)

Times they are a changin’. Why does that sounds so familiar? I can’t remember where that line comes from but it certainly pertains to my life at the moment. On the verge of lots of life changes. Or at least potential life changes. Some of the changes I’m not sure yet whether they’ll be good or bad. The next couple of weeks will hopefully answer alot of the questions racing around in my head.

I finally finished a LO I’d been working on the whole weekend. I actually haven’t had much time at all to scrap this weekend so it didn’t necessarily take me any longer than any other of my LOs, just spread out over more days. :) Figured I’d post it here since SBB is still down. Good thing I’ve been too busy to spend time there this weekend. I’d imagine there are oodles of digi-scrappers out there having major withdrawals right about now. Hopefully most of them aren’t anything like me. Although you’d think SBB being down would be helpful to my actually getting more scrapping done, the opposite is true. It’s like my creativity goes right down with the site. LOL Hopefully it’ll be back up soon and we’ll have a gallery full of tons of new LOs. :)

Well, life has certainly not been a bed of roses lately but Lisa (momy4him) mentioned my thankful list in her blog so although I was tempted to skip for today she convinced me to not let this day go by without thinking of something I am thankful for. (I DID post 3 times yesterday so I was thinking that maybe that excused me.) Tonight I guess I’m most thankful for a long weekend. Especially since it’s now after 2 am and I’m still not in bed. So I guess I should also be thankful for cucumber eye pads right about now. Off to try and get some sleep.

I am so NOT a fan of Martha Stewart (sorry Paige)  but I do like her ‘good things’ segments so here’s my ‘good things’ list for tonight. Paige Madison’s t-ball game…got some great t-ball pics to scrap, got pics of Beans with a piece of the parking lot (that’ll make more sense when I scrap about it), got to hold Ainsley almost the entire time and then we got to go out for ice cream afterwards. All pretty darn great things in my book.

Then I sat on my deck in my new comfy outdoor chair from Target and browsed through Shari’s latest wedding photos on my laptop. And now I’m watching what is sure to be my new favorite tv show – Dancing with the Stars. LOVE ballroom dancing! How fun to watch Joey McIntyre, Evander Holyfield and other stars compete in a ballroom dancing competition! Maybe it’ll make ballroom dancing the ‘in’ thing again. :)

As promised, this is a photo of my cupboards project. I have about half of them done (well not completely done because they could use some more distressing but close) and the others are sanded and ready for paint. I really need to finish this project because I would love to paint and distress my dining room table black but I’ve vowed to finish the cupboards before tackling the next project. The glass knobs I found are kind of a fun bright green, they really don’t match the more subtle green trim paint but I love ‘em that way. :) Oh, and I started collecting fun birdhouses a few years ago (although these particular ones aren’t the funnest, they’re just the ones in the area where the cupboards are actually done). :)

Found this quote over at Ali’s blog (love her blog btw!) and thought it was something to keep in mind in my scrapping AND in my blogging.

"We have stories to tell, stories that provide wisdom about the journey of life. What more have we to give one another than our ‘truth’ about our human adventure as honestly and as openly as we know how." (Rabbi Saul Rubin)

Great quote Ali! :)