I started this post last night but couldn’t get the random generator site to work. Fell asleep trying after midnight so happy belated Valentine’s day to everyone. Hope you spent it with your sweethearts. :) We finally went to see Fool’s Gold which was pretty good.

So I finally did get the random number site to work this morning (do people pay $60 for the deluxe version of that just for blog giveaways??) Anyway, I couldn’t decide whether to count starting first with the design blog or with the personal blog so I lucked out and the number that came up was low enough that I could pick one from each. :)

So the winners are Danielle from the comments on this blog. I’d already done a blog for but she’s got a new etsy shop so I’ll get her all hooked up with links and titles for that. Danielle, email me your new phone # and I’ll give you a call this weekend because I don’t think my emails are getting through to you lately. :)

And the winner from the design blog is Shawna Taylor. :) Congratulations!! Shawna, I’ll email you later today to find out which kit you’d like me to use. :)

Thanks so much everyone for the sweet comments and for entering the drawing. I’m still recovering from being computer-less for over a week and now starting full time work hours next week but I’m trying to respond by email to as many comments as possible. I appreciate the encouragement so much though. Really some days are great and I’m sure someday I’ll look back and understand the big picture better. Hopefully sooner rather than later. :)

So I haven’t posted much specifically here on this blog other than mentioning ‘my sweetheart’ here and there and he’s made a few sneaky guest appearances but I always get questions asking who this mystery guy is. I figured it’s about time I dedicate a post and thought what better timing than valentine’s (or the day after)?! :)

So this is the guy who has ALL of my heart.

He’s my once in a lifetime true love. I know without a doubt that he’s who I’m meant to spend the rest of my life with. I can’t wait to experience new things with him, travel to new places and just do the normal everyday things like fighting over who took the garbage out last. I will never take him for granted.

He’s my soulmate, my photographer, the greatest shopper in the world. :)

These scrapbook pages aren’t anything new (I haven’t scrapped in at least 6 months) but I’ve never shared them here on the blog. There are more but I won’t bombard you. If you want to see them you can check ‘em out here.

I haven’t gotten any of these notes in at least a couple weeks now *hint hint*. ;) But he’s a total gentleman. Seriously, the first time he got me a pop and took the cap off before handing it to me I think I totally melted. Who does that?! It’s the little things that are the big things after all, right? :)

Isn’t he perfect?! I’m pretty lucky. He’s a keeper. :) I love you babe. *muah*

In completely unrelated news, my sister Kimberly had her baby this morning. I got to see her at lunch and she’s absolutely adorable. I got pictures but I’m at work and don’t have a cord to transfer them but I’ll be back probably later tonight to post one or two. :)

Kay, gotta wrap things up for the day. Busy weekend of catch-up ahead and hopefully another trip to see my niece squeezed in there. Thanks for the warm welcome back to blog world. I really did miss it and hope to do much better at popping in now and then. Although hopefully with a little shorter posts. LOL

Happy belated Valentine’s Day and hope everyone has a great weekend!

Will a give-away make up for the fact that I haven’t posted here in almost 3 months???

I was hoping to post about this exciting news much earlier but my laptop crashed and I just finally got it back this weekend. If you know me at all, you know that losing my laptop for over a week is about the worst kind of torture one could put me through. Excruciating. Not to mention I had just days before that decided that cable tv was a luxury and that I didn’t really ‘need’ to watch Fox News 24 hours a day. I watch my favorite tv shows from 1 am to 2 when I change from work mode to wind-down mode in bed. So yes, my laptop even sleeps with me. It was a lonely lonely week. :( On top of all that our area lost power last Sunday for about 6 hours so while everyone else was watching the super bowl I was about 3 hours into a power outage and starting to get cold and lose the only available sunlight to crochet by. I spent the next 2 hours reading a book by candle light.

Anyway, back to the give-away so that those of you sent here by the fabulous Shabby Miss Jenn can move on to more interesting blogs in your list (you know, the ones who post more often than quarterly). :) Shabby Miss Jenn has created some shabby blog kits that include everything you need to make your blog look beautiful. The kits themselves were designed entirely by Miss Jenn and they’re amazing. Hopefully in the future I’ll be able to collaborate on some designs as well but for now my part comes in for those that don’t care to mess with all the code to get things looking just so. For me it provides a nice break from the more intense creative side of designing but I get to still help people make their blogs more personal and fun to look at. :) I’ll be taking on a very limited number of custom blog designs over the next few months so this will keep me up on the code (read geeky) side of things because I really don’t want to have to re-learn all that stuff after being away from it for 3 months. I’m a use it or lose it type person for sure. Sooo, that’s a bit about this exciting new collaboration and to celebrate I thought it would be fun to give away a shabby blog installation and Miss Jenn, being the sweetheart that she is, has offered to throw in the shabby blog kit of your choice. :) Just leave a comment here (make sure to include your email address) and on Valentine’s Day I’ll randomly pick a lucky winner. :)

Lots of emails to catch up on and a few banners to recreate (luckily easier the second time around than the 1st). Those of you waiting please be patient and I promise I’ll make the wait up to you. I’ve got everything loaded back on the computer and the next few days off to get caught up.

So… the past few months in a nutshell:

Holidays for the most part - SUCKED. The week leading up to Christmas was great. Got some VERY sweet gifts from my sweetheart. I got clothes (which I desperately needed and oddly enough he’s the only person who I trust to clothes shop for me without me even there) and stocking stuffers like razors (’cuz they’re so stinkin’ expensive and I’m trying to manage on my own here and sometimes that means luxuries like a sharp razor are the last thing on the shopping list, ya know, behind milk and laundry detergent). Oh, and a power tooth brush. (hmmm, now that I actually list these things, you think there’s a personal hygiene concern here? I swear I brush and shave daily even when I’m too busy.) Anyway, moving on ‘cuz this post is already getting too long… Christmas Eve I spent with my family and got to see my nieces and nephews open their presents. Can’t beat that. Christmas day I spent alone. Wow is that ever about the worst day to be alone. I tried to pretend it was just a normal Tuesday but wasn’t that successful. The new year’s holiday was more of the same. I just wanted the holidays to be over. Luckily I had a birthday in January which went much better. Dinner with my parents the night before. I did spend most of my actual birthday working but I took a break for lunch with Nikki and a little mall walking that afternoon. Dinner at one of my favorite restaurants that night with my sweetheart and then a girls movie night to see 27 dresses.

Project 365 … I decided to jump in on the photo a day challenge here. I was really disappointed in how few photos I have from the past year and I’ve been wanting to learn more about my camera so I thought this would be the perfect challenge for me. Shockingly I’ve actually taken at least one photo almost every day this year and I’m learning a lot already about my camera settings and lighting and even a little about myself. I figured if I’m going to make it through the year I’m not going to beat myself up on rules. The important thing is to document something from my life each day. For me that won’t always mean a self-portrait but the idea is that most of them would be. And once in a great while it’s okay if someone else even took the photo as long as it’s a photo documenting that day of my life in some small way. And I love the prompts that Anna comes up with each day but I’m not letting a difficult prompt hold me back from taking a photo. If I did I would’ve skipped day 1 and what kind of way is that to start a year long challenge?! I’ve missed a few days so far, lost a couple days when my computer crashed and have over a week still sitting on my camera not downloaded yet but you can see the ones that I have posted here or through the flickr link on the right. So if you don’t see me here for awhile you can always check the flickr to make sure I haven’t dropped off the planet.

Life and loneliness …So I had the opportunity to work with Dr. Brene Brown on a blog design recently and she sent me a copy of her book that the blog is somewhat in conjunction with. Brene has been so fun to work with. To be honest I think if it weren’t for the computer crash, canceled cable and even power outage it may have taken me a better part of the year to read the book she’d sent because I rarely can clear my mind enough to read. The book is called ‘I Thought It Was Just Me’ and the sub-title is ‘women reclaiming power and courage in a culture of shame’.

One paragraph that really hit home with me said this:

"We believe that the most terrifying and destructive feeling that a person can experience is psychological isolation. This is not the same as being alone. It is a feeling that one is locked out of the possibility of human connection and of being powerless to change the situation. In the extreme, psychological isolation can lead to a sense of hopelessness and desperation. People will do almost anything to escape this combination of condemned isolation and powerlessness."

For quite some time now I’ve been feeling incredibly lonely. The kind of loneliness that doesn’t go away even when I’m in a crowd of people or with friends. Even before reading this book I’d been giving a lot of thought to the idea that my loneliness is more than a product of just living alone. I mean that’s definitely a factor. I’m tired of coming home to an empty apartment (other than Pixel which definitely helps), tired of grocery shopping alone, tired of not having anyone here to talk to or just know they’re in the other room, and tired of sleeping in bed alone. I mean sure, sleeping diagonally across the bed is nice and all but it’s just not the same as having someone next to you. Anyway, I know these are products of choices I’ve made and right now the right choice is to be on my own, it’s just been a really long year and I know for sure that I’m not really cut out to do this long term.

But I think the loneliness lately is actually more a product of the fact that I’ve intentionally isolated myself from pretty much everyone who cares about me. I think largely because I kept thinking that in a few weeks or maybe a couple months I’ll have this life thing in order. That everything will be neatly tied up in a pretty package and then I can let those who I’ve kept at arms length back into my life. And hopefully by then that pretty package will have a few extra hours in there so that I can spend more time with these friends. That is if they’re still around.

Anyway, I’m rambling but I guess I just want to say thank you to those friends who still check in even when I drop off the planet for months at a time. Hopefully I’ll either learn enough from reading Brene’s book or all the chaos and tough parts of life will start taking a turn for the better and I can start rebuilding bridges that I’ve torn down over the past year.

Wow, that got much heavier than I intended. Luckily I probably lost most of you right after the blog giveaway right??? Kay, I’ve been jotting down thoughts to blog about on the backs of receipts and junk mail for 3 months so let’s see…

Movie Reviews …

Juno - Love loved LOVED it. So many great lines. Funny all the way through. If you haven’t seen it you must!

Gone Baby Gone - Very thought provoking. Kinda rough but very well written and I didn’t even know Ben Affleck had a brother. Great line from the movie - "He lied to me. Now I can’t think of one reason big enough for him to lie about that’s small enough not to matter."

Fracture - Anthony Hopkins and Ryan Gosling. Amazing on screen together.

Dedication - This one I haven’t seen yet but it should be in my mailbox right now. Love Mandy Moore (as a singer and actress) and I’ve wanted to see this since I first saw the trailer months ago. Somehow I think it skipped the theatres around here which works out actually kinda good since I don’t have cable and I’m running out of good movies to watch when I need something playing in the background. Oh, and the website for it is quite artsy and creative. Gotta love that. :)

No Reservations - very sweet, great movie to rent for valentine’s day.

What I want to see this valentine’s day… Definitely, Maybe oh, and I still have to see this. Not a fan of the long hair version Matthew McConaughey but he and Kate Hudson are always great together.

Movies and music are two of my favorite things. For my current music faves you can always check out the blog-pod. I try to keep that fresh even when I haven’t posted here in awhile. :)

To-Do List …

• Shower
• Get caught up on blog design work this week
• Try to get caught up on emails
• Take daily photos
• Read the rest of Brene’s book
• Mail out packages (I still have Christmas gifts waiting to be mailed and it’s Feb!)
• Post more on blog

Wow, if you made it through reading all of this you deserve 2 entries for the giveaway. LOL Those of you who made it through, pop over to the design blog and leave a comment there for an extra chance. :)

…to say that I’m at the office today but then have a few days off to work on blog designs. Yay! The past couple weeks has been a bit chaotic with extra hours at both of my regular jobs. Definitely not complaining about extra hours but it’ll be nice to be able to focus on design stuff for a few days. I got a lot done over the weekend and I’m waiting on final approvals for a couple blogs to finish them up as well as a few that I’m hoping to send out tonight but I’m thinking with 3 whole days to play I could take on 1 or 2 more orders. I know I have that new blog for posting about this design stuff but I thought I’d give my regular blog readers a heads up that I’ve got a couple spots open and that after those I’ll be adjusting my pricing for future orders. I’d like to find a balance where I keep busy enough but not so busy that I can’t give each blog the attention that I’d like to. Sooo, if you’ve been thinking about doing a little blog remodeling you can fill out the questionnaire here. Not sure exactly what the new pricing will be yet but it will likely be a bit more of an a la carte type pricing. We’ll see.

Kay, back to work so I can get out at 5. If I take a break from designing maybe I’ll get a picture of my new LONG overdue haircut and fresh color. I have never appreciated a cut so much in my life.  Oh, and if you have girls check out Melody’s blog tomorrow for a drawing.  :)

Oooh, and I finally figured out how to add the links for RSS feeds. They’re over there on the right at the top of the page. :)

Wow is this hard for me to post without a single picture. Kills me. LOL Maybe I can make it up with new tunes to listen to while blogging. I’ll have those up here shortly. :)

PS: Anyone gonna watch the Bachelor tonight? I’m still routin’ for DeAnna by the way. I must’ve missed whatever Lisa didn’t like about her.  Can’t wait to see who he picks. And have any of you seen the new VH1 show called The Shot? I just caught it for the first time yesterday and I’m already hooked. :)

I think there’s a blog prompt out there somewhere called wordless wednesday. This is gonna be my version of that. More pictures less words because I’m…emotionally drained, way behind on last weeks to-do list, still in my pj’s at 8:30 and meeting Nikki at Panera in an hour. So, quick recap of the past week in pics… 

I like how this has sortof a wooded whimsy look. And because I mentioned new clothes in the last post. This is my new favorite top, although you can’t see much of it here. You’ll have to trust me that it’s very cool. :)

My new bag. Still playing with a new design but this one I couldn’t part with. The original idea was to take it for one night to get some pics in real life rather than hanging on a hook and then sell it but all the little things I carry around with me have called it home. Oh, and it’s much cooler here now so I’ve hauled out my favorite shiny red shoes. They make me happy every time I wear them. :)

A night of sewing with Jill and then with Nikki and I’ve got 5 new bags posted in the shop. I’ve given up picking favorites. :)

An off-road derby on Saturday night that I got to see 4 of my nieces at. No pics though, rushed off to not miss Dan’s race and forgot to grab my camera. :( He did great though. We’ll have to wait for Kimmy to post again for the details.

And yesterday I received a little package in the mail from Katelyn with another super sweet card and my very own remote for my camera. Now I’ve got a tripod and a remote so no more excuses for not using my camera more often. Plus I can finally take better pictures of my purses. :) Oh, and there’s my new jacket from last weeks shopping trip. :)

Okay, off to finish getting ready for Panera and then work today and sewing with Jill again tonight. Tomorrow is a whole day of blog designing. First person to guess who’s banner this one is…

…wins a little RAK from me. (click image to view full size)

I’ve got 3 others that should all be coming together by tomorrow and I’m working on another FUN project for Tara that I can’t wait to share too. I got an email from her last night that actually said, and I quote…”I LOVE THIS MORE THAN OREOS!” That made my heart smile.

Kay, gotta run, back soon (hopefully) with more blogs to share, that recipe (sorry, just crazy busy) and a new revised to-do list template. I’ve discovered that certain areas need to include far more space. I also need to add a ‘long term goals’ area or something along those lines. Wow, this has turned out to be very wordy for a ‘wordless wednesday’ post. Sorry ’bout that. Now I’m gonna be late for Panera. Oy!

Have a great Wednesday!

First of all, thank you for all the incredibly sweet comments on my last post. I really do have the best friends in the world. I took a little break from the designing yesterday afternoon to watch some football games over lunch and do some retail therapy. Someone spoiled me and hopefully if we get some photos this week I’ll actually be wearing something different in them for once. I think someone may have been getting tired of seeing the same 3 outfits on rotation. :) He walked out empty handed though so we may need to plan a little day trip here, maybe on the way to some therapy of this sort?? We’ll see. A road trip would be good. That’s what finally gave me the breakthrough on Maegan’s blog design so maybe it would help with a couple that I’m stuck on at the moment.

As promised, a little video of Pixel and her best bud Murphy. I hung out with them Friday night for a bit while Nikki was working. They’re really quite hilarious together as you can see…

click here to see the video

Does that count for a Pixel update? Trying to check some things off that list a couple posts back. :)

And my to-do list for the week.

I used the template I’d made awhile back along with some Leora papers and goodies by Gina, Jackie, Shabby Miss Jenn, Natalie and Jennifer.

Havin’ a really hard time juggling everything lately so hopefully this will help. I’m finding when I let other priorities slip that my creativity seems to go downhill too so maybe keeping things balanced better will make me more productive in the blog design area. Right now I’m spending far too much time ’stuck’ on designs and I really think it’s because I’m trying too hard. Now if I just need to step away from the laptop for a bit and refocus I’ll have this pretty list of things to remind me what else I need to be taking care of. :)

I know I’ve posted the template before but I tweaked it a bit while I was making this list so if you didn’t get a copy earlier or you’d like the new (hopefully improved) version you can download it here. I don’t claim to be a template designer and it would probably help if I used more templates for my own scrapping. In fact, if I did I could probably even add a little bit of scrapping for myself on that to-do list huh?! :)

Oh, and did anyone else watch the Sound of Music last night on tv? Well, if you missed it it’s on again tonight. I have the DVD but somehow there’s just something nostalgic about watching it when it’s on tv. It’s quite possibly my very favorite movie as you can maybe gather from my blog banner (which is WAY overdue for a rehaul). I put a little Sound of Music playlist on the blogpod for your listening enjoyment. :)

Kay, off to get ready for church. Then a full two days of blog designing with a little house cleaning thrown in here and there. Maybe a walk with Pixel. An episode of Big Brother tonight. Back to work on Tuesday, dinner at my favorite restaurant before they close for the season and ice cream at Charlie’s.

I’ll try and pop in here again before then with a couple more new blog links and that recipe I promised (if you can really call it that).

Hope everyone is enjoying their holiday weekend so far.

Anyone still checking in here??? Wow, where to even begin after such a long time between posts…I have had so much I’ve wanted to blog about since my last post and I think if I waited till I have time to blog about all of it it’d never happen so I guess I’ll just jump in with random bits and I’ll try to catch up with more frequent posts over the next week.

Balance…struggling to find it. Think I’m getting closer…finally.

What I’ve been keeping busy with…designing blogs. Here’s a few links to some recent projects:

Bella Pink, Mariah M Photography, and most recently Maegan’s Confessions of a Scrapaholic and family blogs.

I have 2 others that should be finished this evening and 4 more that are in various stages as well as a website design that I think I’ll be taking on for a very exciting client. I also had the opportunity to work with Tara on the design for her new Wriskey logo (wish I could share but she’s got an exciting unveiling planned soon). :) She’s got some REALLY fun marketing items that we’ll be working on soon too. Busy busy but I’m loving it. The people I’ve met over the past month have been amazing to work with and I’m so excited to be doing something that I enjoy and actually making a bit of extra (read just enough) money to pay the bills. :)

Okay, lots more to blog about the new design endeavors but that’s one of about a bazillion topics floating around in my head for the past month and I’d like to cover at least a few of them in this post so back to the design stuff later. :)

Sooo, apparently I’m a…

My sweet sweet friend Nancy listed me on her blog as a rockin’ girl blogger. Right back at ya Nancy. :) She’s one of the absolute sweetest most generous women I know. And an incredibly talented designer ta-boot. Thank you Nancy, you made my day. :)

So now I’m supposed to name my list of ‘rockin’ girl bloggers’ which is nearly impossible for me to do. If you saw my bloglines list you’d understand why. So I think I’m gonna try and be kinda random here.

Shabby Miss Jenn - because I totally owe my crazy fun new designing career to her little referral to Tara a month or so ago. She’s always incredibly supportive and just crazy sweet. Love her to pieces.

Okay, is it just me or are there certain blogs where you’re just too intimidated to post comments on? Well, here’s a couple on my list.

Melody’s Sofa - She makes me so thankful for the ‘keep new’ check box in bloglines. I think I have 10 or more posts saved to go back and read now and then. Most recent posts added are this one (going to try doing this challenge tomorrow or wednesday) and this one. I wish I could just copy and paste the whole thing on my blog for everyone to read. Truly inspiring.

Red Shoe’s Blog - this one I’ve recently started commenting on and I’m so glad I did. Catharine is not at all as intimidating as I thought. LOL She’s completely sweet and has even posted flattering comments here on my blog. Totally makes my day. :) She has the most amazing store and it’s right here in Michigan so I’ve been holding off ordering online in hopes that soon I’ll be able to shop there in person. First thing on my list…a little red fairy door. Is that whimsical or what?! :)

Brianna Graham - I honestly didn’t think we had any photographers this stinkin’ cool in Michigan, let alone right in Grand Rapids. She’s got a new website that’s just gorgeous and is selling out workshops left and right. Attending one is on my ever-growing wishlist. It’s another spendy item so I’ve gotta decide if it’s right before or right after the tiffany blue bike. I think they’re both pushed out to spring at this point so I’ve got some time to save my pennies. :)

Shabby Juls - A dear friend that I’ve gotten to know just this past year and I’m so thankful for her. Some of my favorite rockin’ posts from her blog…this recent one - definitely gave me a different and much needed new perspective on life right now, and is this not the coolest table you’ve ever seen?! And how ’bout this fun retro bike that her DH restored? She’s also started selling some gorgeous hand painted items in her new etsy shop.

Okay, gotta run. I wish I had time for more but if I don’t post this now it’ll sit in my drafts folder for another month. I promise to be back soon with pics and lots more links. Still on the list of things to blog about…

• a new balanced to-do list
• eating healthier - I’ve gotta share my latest favorite meal to make (yes I do make stuff…occasionally)
• movie and music reviews
• Pixel update
• lots of thoughts lately on the amazing friends that I’ve been blessed with. Goofy video and picture mail to share that made me smile. Super sweet real mail that I’ve received. I don’t know what I’d do without them and it’s about time I dedicate an entire post to the subject of friends. :)

That’s just a few of the things still knockin’ around inside my head so hopefully you’ll come back. Off to hang out with one of those dear friends and do some sewing tonight. Maybe I’ll be able to add a new bag or two to the next blog post too. :)

Thanks so much for the e-mails and comments checkin’ in. I won’t be such a stranger from now on. :)